Solution Driven Mindset – Moving Toward Joy

Dear Self,

I must always go in the direction of joy. 

Minor setbacks, obstacles, and inconveniences are – at the end of the day – just tasks that must be completed. If I could just look at each task as an end unto itself, and not the building blocks to a bigger conspiracy theory, then I would be at peace while handling those tasks. I must remember to be grateful for what I can do. Being lazy and letting tasks go unfinished is not a good indication that I am grateful. 

I should know that I must do everything I can to cultivate peace and prosperity in my life. Not prioritizing that is madness. I must always go in the direction of joy. This pertains to everything in life. A clean kitchen brings me joy, so I must clean it. While doing the task of cleaning, I cannot allow myself to feel bitter about spending my time on that task, even as other tasks call for my attention. In this mindset, it is actually madness to hate doing the dishes, or folding laundry, or bringing calm to your child who cries when it isn’t most convenient for you. The correct response is to feel gratitude. Gratitude that the dirty dishes were a result of consuming delicious food and laundry a result of having clothes to wear. Being able to bring calm to your crying child is proof that your presence is important, your body a temple. To leave those tasks, without completion, brings anxiety. Peace cannot be found in a dirty home. 

This applies to my opinions of other people, places, and things. Can I stop attaching negative feelings to life experiences? If my ex doesn’t show up for our child or if my son used seven different cups to drink milk today, it is not proof that my life is terrible. It can only overwhelm me if I allow it to. If I could just release the anger and resentment, I would be able to identify things as being a neutral experience. I can let go because no other way will serve me. Now I can look at every reaction, every question, every experience and answer it with, “What action or reaction will make me most joyful? Most grateful? Most at peace?” Once I indentify what next move will bring me the most joy and peace, I must act. This allows me to let go of any situation and be non-committed to the end results.I am only focused on the tasks. One task at a time. One action, one move, one step at a time – and always towards joy and peace. Should the results be unfavorable, I can look at it as a task and again move towards joy in completion. Though soon this process guarantees mostly good days, months, and years. Happiness must exist because it is chosen. 


I Saved Myself

Reasons to be proud

I got my life together in spite of every motherfucker

That tore me down

In spite of all the hims…

That dude that didn’t believe in me,

The one who didn’t call me pretty,

The one who was out fucking other women when he said he loved me

That guy that didn’t say sorry when he hit me

You know him. 

My son is beautiful

He laughs as if I never had to take a punch to protect him

He perpetuates innocence

And I am damn proud to have been able to 

Shape his views on life 

To be that of love and genuine happiness.

Reasons to be proud

I am beautiful

My laugh is contagious

I look at my body and say my curves are splendid

The scars are wide on my stomach

And I am like….damn I am a warrior

I gave birth without breaking my composure

Without flinching 

I’ve gotten back up everytime life hit me

Taking deep breaths

Reasons to be proud

My bills are paid for

I work hard so that my son plays more

Sees more,

Experiences life no matter the cost

Because I am a BOSS

Life’s limitations are laughed at

You got reasons why I can’t be that

Do that

Want that

…I say I got that.

Watch me smile.

And I will love you

In spite of your envy

In spite of your jealousy

No matter if you can’t keep up with me

I am strong enough to fight for me

To choose love over your rude company

Loving all that hurt me from afar

Because you can’t be allowed to inspire me to hate

Can’t be important enough that I would negotiate 

my price

Reasons to be proud

I am young

Born free

Born in the company of a mother and father who didn’t believe in my dreams

Lucky enough to have the challenge

Brave enough to use my talents

To outgrow the chains 

Courageous enough to love no matter the cost

Courageous enough to be myself

In the face of indifference.

Push me, kick me, throw me down.

Tell me I am nothing

Leave me empty handed,

Hands upturned because I expected it. 

And every time I needed saving,

I saved myself.