I micromanaged my happiness
and was dead set on only enjoying life
if it worked out with him.
Our relationship made to be the conduit
for energy spent.
I left no space for miracles
and placed a ceiling on my growth.
Life got harder and harder,
I held on tighter.
My tunnel vision grew.
There were life wraths thrown,
exit signs pointed out,
words of wisdom throw up at the mouth.
And still I said no to peace
if I couldn’t have peace with him.
I want to end with some revelation,
to make it all make sense.
A deep exhale of my breath.
But it’s just a trail of lessons
I leave behind,
and problems to solve ahead.
Learning myself to no end.
There’s no standard set,
just endless wars
and big deep breaths.
My self-worth just ahead.
I will keep pushing for failure
until I am dead.
Poetry on Paper 